Michelle Featherstone - Coffee & Cigarettes

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn't helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit
I must quit
You

I thought that if I didn't go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn't go astray
Then all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit
I must quit
You

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit
I must quit
You

I must quit
I must quit
You

家

I spoke to mum recently, she lost a friend whom she knew for almost 40 years, whom I knew since I was a kid. The sudden death shocked everyone. I didn't say anything to mum 'cause I could hear it in her voice that she was really sad. It just didn't make me feel good at all. I know exactly how it feels, I lost a good friend not too long ago, too. And I don't remember how much I cried, how many sleepless nights I went through. It just makes me want to go home and see my family right now. It's been a while. Dad just turned 71 four months ago, and I wasn't home. I'm just terribly sad that I haven't seen him for 6 months now. I just realised how much I miss them. Sometimes we take things for granted, especially our family. And we tend to forget that they are the most important people around. That's because they are always there to share, no matter you're happy or sad. I have been too selfish, not calling home enough for the last few years. But I'm glad I realised it now, before it gets too late. I'll be home soon :-)

Don't stop believing?

I feel quite demoralised after hearing what happened to my friends' long distance relationships. Whatever happened to true love waits? Love does fail sometimes. In fact, most of the times for long distance relationships. I'm not trying to be drama here, I'm just worried. I really am. You can't be sure if the other party is still on the same page as you are when he is so far away. I want to be positive, I try to. I try not to freak out over small things, but I do. I suppose when you are in a relationship, there's no such thing as 'something small'. Every little thing means something. Like a text message, if you don't hear from the other party, at least a text message will do. I tend to freak out if I don't hear from him for the entire day. I need the attention, I really do. The attention that a girl would need when her boyfriend is so far away. I need that extra something to make me feel at ease, to make me believe that true love waits.

Gone

After much struggling, you're finally gone. I was prepared for it, but it was still devastating to hear it. It was one of the hardest days in my life, ever. I wish I had a chance to say the last goodbye. I could have said goodbye three months ago, but I didn't. I waited, was hoping that you wouldn't be gone so soon. I waited, was hoping that there would be a miracle. I waited with optimism. At last I missed my chance to say the last goodbye to you. I could have been there, I could have held your hand through it, but I waited. I can't forgive myself, I shouldn't have waited. If only I could turn back time. I hope that you had a peaceful journey towards the end, and I hope that you'd forgive me. I'm sorry, I truly am. Rest in peace, friend. I miss you, and I always will.

Sinking Relationship

When I look at her, I see myself. Tears flowing, her mind is somewhere else. It's been a long time coming. She has been waiting for this moment to come by, we all have. But things don't turn out the way she thought they would be. He got her hopes up but it's all fading away. She tries to reach out to him but he's already moving on. She tries to escape but she goes nowhere. She's waiting for the sunshine after the rain.