120 seconds of Empty Mind

Lying on my bed staring blankly into the thin air, I can’t get to sleep again. I’m having trouble sleeping, and it’s getting to me pretty badly. Perhaps, just perhaps I need some sleeping pills. I can’t even remember when was the last time I got a good night’s sleep. It’s been forever. And I need one desperately. Getting lost in thoughts has always been my way of fighting insomnia, though it never really works. You just end up getting worse actually. Hence, some people prefer to get drunk. Though it’s never an ideal way to problem solving. But then again, I suppose no one knows exactly what’s an ideal way to problem solving. Too many times, we just try to escape. Escaping from reality, escaping from life to find an instant relief for our pain. There are too many lost souls out there. Perhaps that’s how alcohol gets in the way. But whether you like it or not, the truth is -- everyone needs to escape sometimes. I’m glad that alcohol is never my way of escaping. In fact, I don’t really like to go there, the state of mind where you’re hardly sane and everything just feels surreal. And the day after is just a killer. So you usually end up getting more depressed than ever. It doesn’t really help at all in the end. I prefer to stay sober, because I have my own way of escaping. I just empty my mind while listening to your guitar riffs, that 120 seconds of happiness gives me reassurance when I need it. And I don’t want to change.

Yesterday

I browsed through the music on my computer today. I came across the music from an old friend that I haven’t heard from in years. How have you been all these years? I wonder. You left without even saying a proper goodbye. I went through a lot of sleepless nights wondering what went wrong but I still couldn’t work things out. I waited, you know I waited for a long time before I realised you were already gone. I had to give up in the end. It’s been three years since. Listening to your cover of that Marley song, all the memories of old times are coming back. It leaves me with a smile that’s been long gone. It was our song. You used to play guitar and I would sing you songs. Those were the good times that I’ve missed. You were someone else, I was still right there.